


My Body, My Rules

by pocketsizedsam_1



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 09:59:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19809964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketsizedsam_1/pseuds/pocketsizedsam_1
Summary: As an actress, you never had much of a personal life. There was just one thing that you had kept to yourself. One thing that not even your best friends, Jared and Jensen, knew about you. A sensitive question from a fan makes you lose your cool and makes you spill your deepest, darkest secret.





	My Body, My Rules

As an actress, your “personal life” wasn’t really that personal. It always seemed like somebody was in business- telling you what to wear, that they didn’t like your hair, that your boobs and that your ass wasn't big enough or that they were both too big. It seemed as if all of your fans knew everything about you. But there was just one thing they didn’t- and you intended on keeping it that way. You adored your fans and your co-workers too. However, despite having no personal life, you would never change your job for the world! You loved acting- it was your life. There you were, sitting on the bed in your hotel room in your matching lacy black bra and panty set, staring at the opened suitcase on the floor, deciding what to wear. After many minutes of serious deliberation, you decided on black jeans with a loose-fitting and open blue, tank top style blouse. You also decided on beige-coloured pumps to wear. If you got tired of heels, you packed your comfy Birkenstocks sandals in your bag to change into. 

“Now… Hair.” You mumbled to yourself, sitting in front of the mirror. 

You pulled it back into a simple dutch braid. You would be meeting Jared and Jensen backstage in twenty minutes as they decided to drive from their houses in Austin, Texas. Dallas Con was about to start and you were excited to get that face to face time with your fans during your panel. Today, you and Jensen had a panel while Jared had photo-ops and autographs. Then, after lunch, you and Jared had a panel while Jensen had photo-ops and autographs. After Dinner, the cast was heading down to a local bar to do some karaoke. Sunday was the gold panel featuring Jensen and Jared, while they were out on stage, you were going to have photo-ops and autographs, then you would join the boys in front of all the fans. You were excited for this weekend! You grabbed your phone, wallet, jacket and shoved them all into your bag with your Birkenstocks then headed downstairs. Jensen and Jared were just emerging through a swarm of fans that were not yet allowed into the huge ballroom where the convention was being held.

“Good morning, boys!” You smiled, giving each of them a hug. 

“It’ll be a good morning when I can get this smell of car off me, we just drove for three hours to get here… normally I’d be used to this but it’s early and I’m tired.” Jensen chuckled, hugging you back. 

“I told you guys that you should’ve come and spent the night at the hotel with me, but you refused.”

“Well, we had a nice dinner with our families.” Jared hugged you back as well.

“That’s nice, at least you got to spend some time with your families, despite the early rise. I’m heading to a coffee shop… want anything, you two?” You offered.

“Just the usual.” Jared winked.

You knew what that meant. A coffee and a muffin for each of them. Saturday went well. You couldn’t wait for the gold panel on Sunday with both Jared and Jensen. Those were your favourite panels. You were with your two best friends. After your photo-ops and autographs Sunday morning, you met up with the boys on stage. You took your seat between Jensen and Jared as the crowd cheered. 

“Hey, Y’all!” You exclaimed into your microphone. “I think I’ve been in Texas for too long… I’m already starting to talk like one. It’s time for me to head back to Canada.” 

The fans laughed at your little joke. 

“Y’all need to tell Y/N that a Texan accent is better than that stinky Canadian one she got, eh?” Jared teased you.

The crowd giggled at Jared and his mix of Texan and Canadian accents. 

“Agree to disagree, huh? Let’s start taking some questions!” You shot Jared a smile.

At about an hour into the panel, a fan asked you to send an inspirational message to her friend who was going through some rough times. 

“Hi, Jocelyn, it’s Jensen, Jared and Y/N. Your friend Maria is thinking about you. All I can really say is that, and speaking from experience, things do get better. When I was a teenager, I went through something that was really hard on me. I was down in the dumps for nearly a year before I really started to feel like myself again. It takes time, but you’ll get there. Never lose hope and don’t be afraid to ask for help.” 

“No matter what you’re going through, you need to remember that you are not alone,” Jensen added to your speech.

“And that you always need to keep fighting,” Jared added as well. “Life has a lot of ups and downs and ways of making us upset and hurt. But you’re stronger than those things.” 

“Thanks, guys, This is going to mean a lot to Jocelyn.” Maria smiled.

“You’re welcome.” You said.

You began to think of what happened to you when you were just eighteen years old. Alone and scared, you vowed to never feel like that again. 

Another fan spoke up, “I have a question for Jensen.”

“Shoot.” Jensen raised his microphone to his lips and then let it fall back into his lap once he was done speaking. 

“Does it bother you that Danneel had an abortion?” 

Jensen took a minute before answering, formulating an answer that wouldn’t get him in trouble.

“Of course not. She’s my wife and I support all her choices. Us as men- We as people have no right to tell another person what they can and cannot do with their body. As a husband, I love and support my wife unconditionally.” Jensen replied to the fan’s question. 

“But it’s like murdering another person and that’s wrong.” The fan argued.

“It's a hard choice to have to make, but that doesn’t make it wrong. I stand by Dee.” Jensen said firmly.

“Just because someone has an abortion doesn’t mean they’re a murderer or a bad person. Some women are raped, some women have the possibility of passing genetic disorders along to their baby that would cause that child to have a low quality of life or could put the mother's life in danger. Not all women get abortions just because. We have reasons and those reasons are none of your damn business.” You started to tear up as you became more and more frustrated the more you talked. 

Jensen and Jared both looked over at you. Jared instinctively started rubbing your shoulder when he saw that you were crying. 

“The truth is…” You took a deep breath. “I wasn’t in a good place when I was a teenager. I was seventeen years old, in a bad relationship with very little parental support. My boyfriend at the time was older than me, had addictions to sex, alcohol, drugs and had a very sour personality. When I got pregnant at eighteen years old, I knew I couldn’t bring a child into the world where I was alone with a borderline abusive boyfriend. I wasn’t ready and I was scared. A few years ago, I found out that I’m a carrier for the genetic disorder Tay-Sachs. It is an autosomal recessive disorder that progressively destroys nerve cells causing the child to die at around the age of just five years old. Looking back on my decision to have an abortion, I realize that I made the right choice. Without knowing that I was a carrier and not knowing if my Ex was a carrier, made me run the risk of having a child who would’ve been handicapped and had a 100% chance of death at an extremely young age. I can’t bear to bring a child into this world knowing I could possibly be killing it.” 

You wipe your tears and looked side to side at each Jensen and Jared. 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you guys before.” You gulped. 

“Don’t be sorry Y/N. You made the right choice for the safety of yourself and the child you were carrying.” Jared pulled you closer and gave you a tight squeeze. 

“Thank you, guys.” You sniffed. 

You had always believed that it wouldn’t have been right to bring a baby into the world when you knew you had the possibility of giving a genetic disorder that would kill it. 

“I believe that a baby isn’t a punishment for sex. A baby is a choice, just like abortion is. People choose not to have kids all the time but they aren’t shamed for it. Because it’s a choice. People choose what’s best for them. And I chose what was best for me at that very moment.” You said confidently. 

The crowd cheered and clapped in support of you. When it died down, a fan piped up. 

“How did you find out you’re a carrier of Tay-Sachs?” 

“My parents were young when they had me. When I was twenty-four, my mom was only thirty-nine, almost forty, and my parents had gotten pregnant again. She had a very difficult and high-risk pregnancy. When the baby was born, he was diagnosed with Tay-Sachs. Doctors suggested that I get tested for the fate of my future children. It was just my luck that I’m a carrier.” 

“Is that why you don’t have kids?” The fan asked curiously.

“Part of the reason, yes.” You sniffed. “The other part is that I just don’t really want kids. My job means I have very little downtime and I can’t imagine being that far away from my baby for such a long time. I don’t know how Jared and Jensen do it, honestly, I don’t.” You explained. 

It felt great to get that secret off your chest! It felt like a weight that was dragging you down and was finally released, making your load a lot lighter. Being pro-choice was one thing, actually accepting the fact that a loved one or yourself has had an abortion is a totally different ballpark. If you had a kid at the age of eighteen with the possibility of it having a fatal disorder- you wouldn’t be where you are today. You’d be a grieving mother who lost their kid, almost just like your mom, without your amazing job on Supernatural. 

“My body, my choice and no one can change my opinion on that.” You announced. 

The crowd cheered in agreement. You, Jensen and Jared all stood up on stage. The two boys pulled you into a hug. 

“We’re so proud of you, Y/N.” Jensen kisses your forehead.

“You were so brave.” Jared pressed against the opposite side of your forehead. 

“Thank you, guys.” You sniffed and smiled.


End file.
